How to “Just Relax”

Has anyone ever told you to “just relax” and it made you even more tense, anxious or irritated? It seems to have the opposite effect of helping us become at ease and happy. It seems tricky, right? Of course you would love relaxation, but in the heat of the moment, it’s a different story. So we look forward to holidays, weekends and vacations as an effort to organize relaxation into our lives. However, that doesn’t mean we let the stress build until we can get to that place of relaxation in the form of a weekend, vacation or holiday. We would like to have at our disposal, relaxation techniques and relaxation exercises that we can use everyday and anytime.

Particularly when we are in a stressful situation, we need relaxation techniques for anxiety and when the flight or fight response is triggered. There are so many opportunities for anxiety and getting triggered in our life: someone cuts you off in traffic, a screaming baby in an airplane, an argument with your partner, an unexpected change of circumstance in your work or family life. Some are more sensitive than others and can easily get overwhelmed, they would actively seek relaxation and relaxation techniques in whichever form it comes–short term or long term. Relaxation means many things to different people. For some people, it means having a drink or taking a pill although the effects are temporary as a relaxation technique. The understanding of relaxation is particularly new to the western world, where the emphasis is on effort, achievement and instant results. On the other hand, the east has developed profound wisdom regarding the art of relaxation techniques and have incorporated relaxation training into the very fabric of the culture. Therefore, it may mean practicing some form of mind-body modality such as Tai Chi, Yoga, Qi-Gong, or Meditation that serve as relaxation training or relaxation techniques.

With regard to effort and relaxation, Sadhguru clarifies some important considerations:

Why we are talking about effortless living is just this – to bring relaxation to every activity that you perform. Right now if I ask people to relax they will become lax. If I ask people to be intense they become tense. Do you see the difference ? You have to learn to be intense and relaxed. If you can maintain your intensity and relaxation together, all the potential you have will always be used to its fullest. See, effort and effortlessness are not in what you are doing. It is the way you experience it. For example, you love to climb mountains, lets say. Climbing a mountain involves tremendous amount of physical effort. But if you love to climb mountains, every step you take, every painful step that you take, you become more and more joyous. The legs are paining, the whole body is paining, but it is so beautiful. There is no effort in it – in your experience there is no effort. Body there is effort, yes. If you don’t apply your mind and body, don’t think that it is effortlessness. It is laziness. Not applying yourself is laziness. Effort comes mainly because somewhere we stop enjoying what we are doing. So effortlessness is in terms of your experience, not in terms of applying yourself. But if you don’t apply yourself, it is laziness. It is not effortlessness.

Therefore, learning relaxation techniques helps you learn how to be intense and relaxed at the same time. Have you ever seen someone practicing a relaxation technique such as yoga? It involves tremendous focus and effort, yet is is also movement where the muscles and the breath are completely relaxed. This is an example of relaxation training.

The following video is an example of relaxation training with a relaxation technique called “Upa Yoga”:

What are your favorite relaxation techniques? Please share below which relaxation techniques have worked for you.